Unexpected

July 30, 2014.
  So I made my "well woman" appointment to get thumbs up from my nurse practitioner (n.p) about preparing to conceive. My scheduled date for the Nexplanon removal is August 19.  My n.p. started me on a prenatal vitamin, and scheduled a visit with my regular doctor to go over my thyroid issues. Having thyroid disease can not only make it more difficult to get pregnant, but can also cause miscarriages, and cause birth defects and deformities. My n.p. said that if I am not preggo within three months of trying she wants me to go see a fertility specialist. J and I aren't sure we want to go that route...if we don't conceive, we just don't. But, I really need to get to the meat of this post...what exactly was unexpected during this visit.
I'm sitting up on the exam table with my paper gown on, and my n.p. begins the breast exam by first asking me if I've had any breast surgeries. I gasp and say "no why does something look wrong?!", to which she responds "no, you just have really nice breasts, you are quite lucky". But it wasn't creepy or inappropriate. My breasts are often discussed openly and are sometimes a spectacle (like when attempting to do water aerobics).  So, her comment wasn't the unexpected portion of my visit.
I lay back and she starts the breast exam. I have had one of these done by a professional every year since I was 16 so I know the routine. So when she stopped and asked me how long I've had the lump in my left breast, I was a bit shocked.  Three fingers from the nipple, at the 2 o'clock position I have a lump in my left breast.
I think about my risk factors: my paternal grandmother had breast cancer, I have been on hormone contraceptives for over 20 years, I was exposed to the Iraqi Burn Pit for 5 months and inhaled cocktails of carcinogens on a daily basis (female vets who served near burn pits have a 40% higher rate of breast cancer than the normal female population). Although, I have been tested for the breast cancer gene and I do not have it. But, the gene doesn't account for everything, right?
As of right now, I don't have an appointment scheduled yet. I'm writing this blog, but I'm not going to publish it until after my ultrasound, and after I have talked to my mother. I don't want to scare my mom needlessly, so I'm not going to tell her anything until I have something to tell her and that won't be until AFTER the ultrasound results are in.
August 3, 2014
Why does it seem like everything everywhere all of a sudden is about breast cancer? Every tv plot, bumper sticker... I know I'm just hyper aware, but it isn't helping me to keep a positive attitude or forget I have a lump in my breast.
August 5, 2014
I had my mammogram and breast ultrasound this morning and everything is normal! The radiologist said to just keep doing self exams and report back if anything changes. I'm very grateful, and very humbled by this experience.